One year older...still working on the wiser part... :)

     No, Moi! Miten mene? Well how the heck are you all doing? I have the best family in the world...truly...you are the best...speaking of Truly, Joce, Anne, Lauren, Luke, and Caroline...never forget Lionel Richie...."I'm TRULYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY, Truly in love with you girl." I tried to explain to Sister Pace this week how funny it is when we all scream that song together in the car, but you just have to be there I guess! :) Remember me when you hear that song! haha But anyways, I hope you all had a great week. First week of school...man I want to hear all about your classes and teachers and everything! Fill me in! Also, Thank you ALL so much for the birthday wishes! I missed you all so much on my birthday...we always go so ham with birthdays in our family, but I knew that you were all thinking of me and I am SO glad you bought a cake and ate it at the ranch...that is hilarious and AWESOME!! It made my whole day to see that! Thank you so much! Also, a couple shoutouts, thank you so much to the ward for the wonderful birthday card! It was so nice of you all to think of me. We have the best ward ever...but I am not going to lie, I didn't know about half of the names, so that's going to be a little weird when I come home, but hey, that's ok! I am sure all the newbies are wonderful and I already flipping love the oldies so anyways, you are all just great and thank you so much! Also....GRANDMA IS SINGING IN CONFERENCE!! Heck ya!! I am SOOOO beyond excited that I get to see your beautiful face Grandma! Keep me posted on where you are sitting and you best believe I will be glued to the screen until I see you...I'll probably cry, but that's ok! I just love you so much! :) Also, shoutout to my madre...minun äitini...New Young Women's Prez!!! Dang girl! I am way happy for you mom. You evidently are just meant to help the young women of the church...I mean you had 5 daughters and have been in a Young Women's Presidency for most of your life...you are so wonderful mom and I am so blessed and humbled to be your daughter! You are pretty much the perfect example of what a good wife, mother, daughter, friend, and just person in general should be! Just be yourself in this calling and you will KILL IT! I know you will and I am always praying for you!! I love you all so much!!

    So...drumroll please....Sister Bitner is staying in Vaasa and finishing Sister Pace's training! This will be my first companion I have had for more than one transfer...wow...what an experience! I am really happy to be staying here in Vaasa and Sister Pace and I really have worked things out and are so much better friends than we were before. It's amazing to see how much that has reflected in our missionary work. People can feel when there is tension and people can feel when you are having fun and loving everything! It's so much more effective when you are on good terms with your companion, but at the same time, I am so grateful that last change was so hard. I learned so much from Sister Pace and will still continue to, I am sure. She is a great missionary and really has such a strong desire to be here. I am grateful to be her companion. But hey, keep us in your prayers still. We can use all the help we can get. But, I just have to say that it is the greatest tender mercy in the world that I can stay in Vaasa. I freaking love Vaasa. I didn't even want to think about leaving this place, and I am SO glad I don't have to worry about it for a few more months. The thing is though, now we are getting closer and closer to Christmas and I would LOVE to be here for that. These people are my family. Like seriously though, I love every single member of this branch here. They are the greatest but I am just so grateful to have another transfer here. At the end of this change, I will have been in Vaasa for 7 months...that's a long time!! YIPPEE!!! :) 

    Well, We are at the beginning of a new transfer. That is always a super cool and interesting time as a missionary. I love it because you really get a chance to step back and ask yourself, "How can I take my missionary work to the next level?" Sister Pace and I went out this morning and rededicated Vaasa to the Lord. I love doing that at the beginning of a transfer. It really reminds me why I am here and that the Lord has given me stewardship over this place. It's super humbling and it's really easy to feel super small sometimes...even though Vaasa isn't very big, but still I just love it. One super cool thing though I wanted to mention is about "Visions". Not like..."Oh an angel is next to my bed," but establishing visions for ourselves of where we want to be. Sister Fronk and I established a vision for Vaasa in May that, by the end of September 2014, we wanted to have 2 "youth" baptisms, 1 reactivation, 2 "other" baptisms, and 6 member family implementing family mission plans. Also our "overall vision" was that we wanted to FIND THE FINNS. Vaasa has been notorious in the past for missionaries just teaching foreigners...not that that is a bad thing, but we really wanted to focus on finding people who are going to stay in Finland and build the kingdom here. Well, it's just been amazing to look back and see how much Heavenly Father has blessed us to accomplish this vision. Definitely by the end of hopefully October, we will have 1 youth baptism, 3 other baptisms, and hopefully 3 reactivations and we are still working with a lot of members in our ward which are in the process of having mission plans! I think one of the greatest things about setting goals is that we can look back and see how much the Lord has blessed us and we can DEFINITELY see his hand in our work and in our lives! I am just super excited for this change and I know a lot of good things are going to happen!

    Something Finnish for the week...Nordic walking. Go google it. It's hilarious and literally EVERYONE AND THEIR DOG does it. They walk around with ski poles and really pump the arms. All the Finns do it. It is so funny, but man, it looks like pretty good exercise. Also, some people roller blade with ski poles too...I don't really see how that is exercise, but hey, I can't even remember the last time I rollerbladed. Is that a verb? Probs not! I bet it Probably would be hard for an old fuddy duddy like me....mom and dad, I am 20.....hahahaha you have a 20 year old child! That is weird!! Anyways, it's really funny and SO FINNISH. I love it about them!!! 

    First things first, I have to write about the Nåsman's. I LOVE THE NÅSMANS!!! Brother Nåsman is the district president, and they are just the most wonderful family. They have 4 kids. 2 boys. 2 girls. 2 are married and one is on a mission in Taiwan and one is still at home. I am sure I have probably mentioned them, but I have just grown so close with their family over these past 5 months. They really remind me so much of our family...especially Brother and Sister Nåsman and Mom and Dad....I just love them a lot. They have us over to eat every other week. It is so wonderful of them to feed us and Sister Nåsman is always making sure we are doing ok and she always offers to help. It's kind of nice to have a sort of "mom" figure sometimes. I really miss my mom #bestmomever #loveyoulady :) But I just really appreciate all they have done. We had a DA with them this week with a less active and one of the elder's investigators and they are just the most awesome missionaries and members EVER. Brother Nåsman is a lawyer and he has a SUPER SWEET BMW. Funny story...so last week, we went over to their house to do some service. They have a summer home aka möki and they had cut some trees down so they could cut some firewood for the möki. Anyways, Veli Nåsman felt super bad that Sister Nåsman had asked the sisters to come help haul all of this wood out of the forest, but Sister Nåsman is just hilarious and said, "Oh the Sisters can do it." I love her. Anyways, we just had the best time hauling wood out and chatting with Veli Nåsman and then afterwards, he hooked up his trailer to the BMW and said, "Hey sisters, would you like to come with me and my wife to the möki to unload the wood?" Sister Pace and I have been talking about this car for 10 weeks and we jumped at the chance to ride in it. Sister Nåsman comes running out with Fazer chocolate bars and gives them to us and just kept saying "Thank you so much sisters, we just love you." So my companion and I sat in the back of our district president's BMW eating Fazer chocolate, riding through the forest of Finland. #poshlife No but seriously, it was so fun to be with them and to do service and I just love their family. They have the same sense of humor as our family and it just cracks me up to be with them. I feel so welcome in their home and anyways, I am done rambling about the Nåsmans, but they are awesome!!! Plus their youngest daughter looks just like Anne and I always tell her that when I see her. It's crazy!!! She's beautiful, just like you! :)

    So on Wednesday evenings, we have been teaching a Finnish class for foreigners. It's super hilarious!! We have 2 vietnamese "students" and 1 nepalese...person from Nepal...is that how you say that? Oh well, they have been coming and two more are coming this week who are also from Nepal. It is seriously HILARIOUS and is a great way to get people to come to the church. I never thought in a billion zillion years that I would be able to teach finnish to someone....it's kind of been nice to know that I am still not a complete idiot, but seriously! I don't speak finnish well, but just the fact that I can get around this place and buy train tickets and talk to members and shop at the store and all these things astounds me every day. I do not have a "kieli pää" as they say in Finland or a language brain and Heavenly Father really has blessed me so much. So for all of you future missionaries who are learning a language...if I can learn Finnish....ANYTHING IS POSSIBLE. But on the other hand, I have worked my tail off to understand this crazy language and I know that Heavenly Father has made more of my effort than I could by myself. Anyways, I have just been super grateful recently that I can speak Finnish so I thought I would share that with you!!! There can be miracles if you believe...and study!!! :)

    We reset Tuulia's kid's baptismal dates this week for October 18. We are going to try this another way...SLOWWWWWWWW!!!!!!! Sister Pace and I have both been feeling that we can't just baptize these kids and throw them to the dogs...they need some support when they are done, so we are working with both of the parents now and just really trying to make it so they will have a support system after they are baptized. It's amazing how baptism is the first step, but that is SO NOT the end of it all. Getting baptized is the easy part. The hard part is "Enduring to the End" but man, it's so worth it! The kids came to church on Sunday though and LOVED it. They both wanted to sit by me which is so cute...hasn't happened in awhile :) jk Sister Pace was giving a talk, so I was sitting by myself, with the kids, but anyways, it was just great to be there with them! I love these kids and can't wait for them to be baptized!!! Pray for their family though. There are a lot of pretty serious problems with the parents and they could definitely use your prayers!!!

    Our investigator Milla is doing pretty well...she has been kind of flaky lately, but we went and had lunch one day at the restaurant where she works. We aren't sure if she is completely ready right now, but we have another lesson with her this week so hopefully all goes well. It's been really interesting lately for me to realize how CRUCIAL it is that these people we teach have real intent. We cannot and should not drag someone to baptism. All we can do is invite these people to make and keep commitments. Actually dad, that is what I wanted to tell you for mission prep. Have the missionaries practice teaching to commitments! That is an aspect of teaching that is SO STINKING IMPORTANT. If we don't invite them to do anything, they don't even have the possibility to change. Earlier in my mission it was really hard for me to commit people to do things. Partly because investigators are sometimes few and far between and I didn't want to lose the ones that we had, but I have come to realize that we HAVE to invite them to make and keep commitments. That is the whole point. We don't want to teach those that aren't ready. We are here to find the elect and the elect are around us, but if we waste all our time teaching those that really don't have that "willing heart and mind" that is so critical, we won't go anywhere. It's super hard though because you really grow to love these people so much, but our job is to give them the best chance that we can and to teach it simply and clearly so that they can choose for themselves. Anyways, that's my two cents for the week on mission prep! :)

    So on Friday, we had a miracle day in Seinäjoki...seriously....it is only by the grace of God that this day went so well. So we drove down there and as we were driving along the road, this big yellow house with a red roof really caught my attention. I have driven to Seinäjoki TONS of times and have never ever noticed this house before. We passed it and I had the STRONGEST feeling ever that we needed to go knock on that door. At first I was like, "Psh, ya right, then I'll get kicked out of the monastery", but then I thought...Ok...follow the spirit...duh! So we flipped the car around and set off to find this house. Well...I kid you not, the house is not real. We looked and looked and drove and walked and climbed and hacked through the bushes and....NOTHING....it wasn't there. I didn't know if I was crazy or what, but we got back into the car to finish driving to Seinäjoki and honestly, I was a little ticked. I was like, "What the heck, we just wasted like 30 minutes looking for this dumb house that isn't even real." We get to Seinäjoki and we had planned to go contact a referral when we first got there. We go to this lady's house and I am still secretly bugged that the yellow house isn't real and this lady opens the door and says, "Oh good, you two are here. Come in." I was like, "Wait, what? Are you serious?" I didn't ask her that...good thing :) But anyways we go in and talk to Terttu, and she said, "I knew you guys were coming today"....we never have met her before...she continued, "but I was so worried that I would miss you...I just got home 5 minutes ago." Now let me take a few steps back...we have tried to contact Terttu like 32327 times and she has NEVER been home. So earlier Friday morning, Sisar Pace and I told Heavenly Father that we would try Terttu one more time and then we weren't going to go back. Well, He knew we weren't kidding so he helped me lose my mind for a few minutes while seeing mirages of "yellow houses" so that we could actually get the chance to talk to Terttu. Anyways, she is awesome and is a new investigator and I just still can't get over how involved Heavenly Father and the Savior are in this work. It's amazing and it was super hilarious and I don't think I am crazy...yet! Heavenly Father just has a sense of humor! :)

    Anyways, as the day in Seinäjoki goes on, we got 2 phone calls from former investigators asking if we could come back and meet with them again...what? Ok....TOTTA KAI!!! Of course!!! Poe and Soe Meh, those two Burmese girls we taught awhile back are investigators again and one girl named Sam from Vietnam. I haven't ever taught her, but she was progressing really well apparently and then left to pick Strawberries on a farm for 6 months #finlandlife but good news, she is back and is now a new investigator! Then at 18:00, we had a lesson with Päivi, another former investigator who the elders had talked to. She came to the church and was just glowing. I have never seen someone like that. She has had such a hard life...her husband is an alcoholic...can I just say how much I HATE alcohol. It is horrible. Anyways, she has probably the strongest faith in Christ I have ever seen an investigator have and she LOVES him. It is my favorite thing in the world to teach and testify about Christ. I LOVE IT SO MUCH. Anyways, the branch president in Seinäjoki said that the next baptism there is going to be on November 15. I think it is going to be Päivi!! I am super excited about her and really just love her already! She is wonderful!

    Sidenote: there is this one turkish guy who plays soccer with us and is Muslim...yay....they are always trying to argue with us about our religion and Jesus and Mohammed and all that other stuff, but anyways, he came up to me on Saturday and said, "Jesus Christ is not God's son." That's all he said... and walked away. After he walked away I felt absolutely SICK TO MY STOMACH and I just looked at him walk away and then I ran over to Him and I said, "I know that Jesus Christ is God's Son and He is our Savior". It sounds kind of weird, but it was one of the coolest, most black and white experiences of my mission. When he said that horrible lie to me, I felt like all the light and love and hope and goodness drain out of me. I felt empty and sick. It was weird. But when I testified of Christ, it all came back so strongly and I was SO happy and grateful that I know that Jesus Christ is our Savior. Anyways, it's really cool how sometimes when people bash our beliefs or laugh at them or mock them, those are the most wonderful times to testify. It was a way cool experience for me and it happened on my birthday! IT WAS AWESOME!!!

    Speaking of my birthday...it was way good! :) I had a wonderful 20th Finnish Birthday! I always wake up super happy on my birthday and this year was no exception. The only downer was that Sister Pace didn't feel well. She has had a SUPER bad sore throat and cold, so she slept in a little bit, but I was able to study and write in my journal and ready some old letters from my family and just have the greatest morning ever. I was so full of gratitude and joy for all that Heavenly Father has blessed me with, especially my mission, the gospel, and my family. I missed you guys so much...not going to lie, I cried a bit, but it was really good and I just kept thinking about how grateful I am that I can be with you guys forever. I am not going to lie, sometimes I get homesick...still. I miss you guys like crazy and just can't wait for the day I get to see you again. I usually don't let myself think about it, because it's just hard, but this time was different. I miss you guys, yes, but man, I am so grateful for eternal families. This week, dad, I testified to one of our investigators about God's plan for us and about families being together forever. I shared the story about when you had cancer and how terrified I was. That really was the first time in my life I ever really thought about Heavenly Father's plan and what that really means. But as horrible as that trial was, our family is so much stronger because of it. I am so grateful for this plan our Father has for us. It seriously is the greatest source of hope in the world! 

    Anyways, we played soccer on my birthday...I scored some pretty sick goals which was awesome! It makes the turks mad which secretly makes me happy...don't worry, my competitiveness has toned down....hahahahaha....NOT. Just kidding, it has but I love to play soccer. It was our last game. Now we start playing sähly or floor hockey on Saturdays, but it was a great way to end the soccer era. The best thing though was after soccer, the members all came around and sang "Happy Birthday" to me in Finnish and then our friend Vesa from the ward...he is awesome...gave me a bar of my favorite finnish chocolate which was freaking awesome!!! I was way happy!! Sister Pace also made me a burger shaped like a heart for my birthday....I love burgers...she is awesome and it was so good! Then we had some chocolate chip cookie dough so after we had planned that night, we made some cookies and I blew out a match for my 20th birthday! I didn't even know what to wish for, but I made a good one...I am pretty sure it will come true! :) I just love birthdays and thanks again for all the birthday wishes. I didn't get the package yet mom, but we go down to Helsinki next week so I will probably get it then!! Thanks again for that!! :)

    Well guys, I am just really happy! Granted, we all have our days, but I have learned so much on my mission about the reality of choosing to be happy. I love the quote from President Monson, "We can choose to have a positive attitude. We can't direct the wind, but we can adjust the sails. In other words, we can choose to be happy and positive, regardless of what comes our way." It's so true. I have been studying a lot about Faith lately...Elder Bednar told President Watson to have us study 3 of his former talks before he comes, which I will forward to you, by the way...they are all BRILLIANT...but anyways, he talks a lot about acting vs. being acted upon. There are so many ways to apply this principle, but I have especially thought about it a lot recently regarding happiness. We can be agents unto ourselves and literally DECIDE to be happy or we can let other people's actions or behavior make us sad. It's really that simple. I think when we all really take control of our lives and our happiness and say, "You know what, this is not going to bring me down anymore. I am choosing RIGHT NOW to be happy." It doesn't come all at once, trust me. Just saying that isn't enough. We have to work with ourselves and really work ourselves out of funks or sadness or just feelings of BLEH!!! But I know that with consistent and persistent effort, it comes. Being happy is a habit, just as much as reading your scriptures or saying your prayers. Someone said that you have to do something 20 something times in order for it to be a habit...do you like my quoting skills back there...sorry :) But anyways, it's so true. Taking control of our happiness gives us a sense of freedom like none other. Heavenly Father wants us to be free. He will help us get there, but we have to decide. He can't and won't take away our agency. Anyways, I would be lying if I said I was happy everyday, cause I'm not, but I know that we can work through our sadness and we really truly can be happy, always. My favorite scripture is Mosiah 2:41. It says 

    41: And moreover, I would desire that ye should consider on the blessed and happy state of those that keep the commandments of God. For behold, they are blessed in all things, both temporal and spiritual; and if they hold out faithful to the end they are received into heaven, that thereby they may dwell with God in a state of never-ending happiness. O remember, remember that these things are true; for the Lord God hath spoken it.

    I love that so much. It is on my mission plaque. If we are keeping the commandments and we decide that we want to be happy, there literally is nothing standing in our way. At the same time, it's not just a "one and done" deal. It's like brushing your teeth...you can't just brush your teeth really well on Monday and then hope it lasts for the whole week. You have to brush every single day. It's the same with any good habit. We can't just go to church on Sunday and never read our scriptures or prayer for the rest of the week and hope that our Sunday juice carries over. We can't just have one good day where we are bubbles and sunshine and happiness and hope that it carries over for the rest of the week. We have to decide every day what kind of person we are going to be, if we are going to brush our teeth or not, if we are going to study our scriptures and pray, what kind of a day we are going to have, and if we are going to be happy. The funny thing is, most things turn out the way we decide they will. Kind of funny how that works. I think I have quoted dad's and mom's letter before, but when I was in the MTC, you both wrote me a letter and you said, Dad, "Who cares if the home grass is greener, make the most of the grass you possess." Mom, you said, "Take the love that we have for you and let that make you happy." You have no idea how many times I have thought of those letters during my mission and especially those lines. You are both so right. I hope that we all can choose today to let our blessings and the Lord's hand in our lives make us happy and also to make the most of the grass we possess. Let's all adjust the sails on our happiness boats this week and make it the best week ever!! I love you all to death and hope you have the most spectacular week in the history of the world!! You da best!!!

    Rakkaudellani,

    Sisar Bitner

Sisar Kristo...she is hilarious...member....

Elders in our district

Me eating pizza...yay!

Our Seinäjoki friends...Päivi

Sisar Niemistö

Poe and Soe Meh

First pic as a 20 year old YAYAYAYAY!!!!!!!

Sister Pace made me a heart burger...YAYAYAYAY!!!

My birthday cake...Chocolate chip cookies...YAYAYAY!!!

Some selfies after we went running....I am so cool....NOT!!! hahaha

The Decade of Decision

    Wow! What's up guys? How are you all doing? I hope you had the best week ever cause you all deserve it because you're wonderful and I love you! :) I have been thinking a lot about my little sister Joce's first experience in a singles ward....hahahahaha man, I hope it was so great and I want to hear all about it! Anne, I hope soccer went well...have  you played Davis yet? Try and get the cup back for us...we haven't had it for awhile! :) Lauren I hope tennis and 8th grade is just the best thing ever and Luke and Caroline...how the heck are you two? I miss you all so much! Mom and Dad, you are both wonderful! I am so grateful for you and for all you both have taught me...I printed off the picture you sent me of your side of the family, mom, at the temple last week and I put it up on my wall...you are all just so wonderful! I have the best family in the world! Speaking of family...I think it is my Birthday Buddy's birthday this Friday so Will, HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!! I am so sorry I can't be there to share it with you this year, but have the best 9th birthday ever and know how much I LOVE YOU!!! Also shout out to by BFF Abby-G during 20 this week! Dang girl, you are so old! :) The title of my email is the decade of decision....cause that's what we are about to enter woman!! How scary is that? I am super excited to not be a teenager though! I know this probably sounds way stupid, but I love my birthday so much. I really don't even care if anyone gives me anything or says happy birthday, although that is great, but just think, a whole day dedicated to the fact that you were born. Literally, we have done absolutely nothing to merit any sort of recognition or celebration, and yet, it it like the BEST DAY EVER! I think we really should celebrate our mothers...that makes more sense! But anyways, I just love birthdays and am super excited to be in Finland for my 20th!! YIPPEE!! But Mom, I have been CRAVING sweet and sour chicken and oriental rice...real bad! Could you send me that next week? Also, I really don't remember what my favorite foods are anymore...probably cause I love all food, but if you see any recipes that remind you of me that I could make...remember, I am a beginner....send them on over! I am kind of getting sick of the food I make! Time to shake it up! But anyways, I love you all so much! Thanks for all your prayers on my behalf. I feel them ALL THE TIME!!! You are the best!!

    Well Fall is on it's way in good old Finland. I FLIPPING LOVE FALL!! I love when the weather is just a little bit cold, to the point where you can't decide whether to wear a jacket or not...I love that boots are once again practical...YAY...and that scarfs and coats and jackets and sweaters are all coming back...wow, I guess I just like clothes...is that all I think about? Absolutely....not! But anyways, Fall in Finland is just as beautiful as winter, spring, and summer have been! This seriously is the most beautiful place. I know I talked about the clouds already, but MY GOODNESS!! The clouds here would blow your mind! They are gorgeous! If you all want to just move here, that would be fine with me and then I could stay forever! I was thinking about it the other day and the only thing I will be happy about when I leave Finland is seeing you guys. Everything else is going to rip my heart out, but we can worry about that later...right now I am just going to enjoy all the good things and hopefully share it with my wonderful family! Finland is beautiful and I love it here! That is my "Something Finnish" for the week...Finns love Finland SOOOO much and I really love that about them. They build their cities and homes AROUND nature...ok, calm down...I am not going tree hugger on anyone, but it's super funny cause we will be walking down the street and all the sudden this GINORMOUS boulder is just sitting right in someone's front yard. We always just stop and laugh and shake our heads and say "Oh, the Finns!" They would rather leave things the way they are than disrupt nature. It's really a way good thing and is one of the reasons their country is so beautiful! Yay for Finland!

    I realized last night that I haven't really written anything about our BOMB AWESOME new mission president and his wonderful wife! So the Watsons are great! Seriously, I love them so much! It was so good to be down at Interim with them. I actually talked to them for a way long time during lunch one day! They are from Heber City, UT and Dad, we talked all about Bitner Ranch and President said that he is absolutely sure that his dad or grandpa or someone knew the Bitners...small world! Pays to have a sheep ranch! :) Anyways, it is just so easy to talk to them. Each time I have talked to President and Sister Watson, I know that they love me for who I am and want the best for me! They really are so great. Sister Watson misses her family and was telling me about all of her grandkids. She is seriously the sweetest person I know and you can just tell she is and always has been a really good person. President is super funny and is SOOOO nice and He is really good at simplifying the gospel and focusing on the basics. He just really makes you feel so good about yourself. They are wonderful people and I am so grateful for them! 

    I think I have told you about soccer. We play every Saturday and it's really turned into this HUGE thing. We have these 5 turkish men that come and are pretty crazy! They are really good and go a little too hard...some people just take things so seriously! :) But anyways it's so much fun to play and it makes me feel so good! I love soccer so much and Sister Pace is a champ to play with me. She doesn't really like it...but she still plays. I really appreciate that! Anyways, I scored a sick header goal and won the friendship of the turks! My life is complete! :) Transfer calls are on my birthday! I am not going to lie, I am pretty nervous, but I am trying not to borrow problems from tomorrow. No point in doing that #parkinsonworrybunch #iworryallthetime but I might be staying or leaving Vaasa! We will see what happens!! 

    So this week, I didn't feel very well on Thursday. I woke up had the worst headache I have had in a long time. I was super dizzy and exhausted and knew it wouldn't be a good idea to hop on a bike and try to talk to people...at least not with my nametag on...#drunkmissionary. Anyways, I went back to bed and slept for 5 hours straight. I didn't even move. But I woke up and felt better, so we just took it easy that day...didn't bike at all, and just walked around and talked to all the people. Talking to people in Finland is super interesting. Finns are reserved...yes all the stereotypes are true, but that's not the real issue. The real issue is they care A LOT about what other people think of them so when we talk to them on the street, they are always looking around kind of nervous like, making sure that no one they know is passing by. It's kind of frustrating/funny/awkward/awesome, but just one of those things. Usually when we say hi, people say hi back and keep walking. We talked about that in district meeting how we need to stop our feet and expect that the people are going to stop and talk to us. Not going to lie...it's SUPER awkward, especially when they keep walking by. Sitting here writing this, I can't help but laughing...it's going to be so funny to watch this part of my life again up in heaven, but we really just do our best to shake it off and laugh. Usually I say something like "Ok, well have a wonderful day" and other times I just say "Merbaderp". That is my favorite thing to say. I think it's finnish...just kidding its not, but It kind of sums up how I feel when people don't stop :) The thing is, we have the greatest thing in the world to give these people, they just don't know it. Sometimes I just want to run up to them and say, "I know this is really weird, but just hear me out for like 5 minutes and I promise you won't regret it." That would be even weirder though. I don't know if I will ever master the art of contacting, but I am trying and it's always more fun when we just laugh and have a good time while doing it. I know I wouldn't want to talk to some sour faced missionary...so I really try hard to smile and be friendly! Heck, it's what Jesus would do, I guess I better do it too! :) 

    We had a lesson with Milla this week...she is flipping awesome! I love her so much! She and Sisar Pace really have a special connection...I think they were friends in the pre-existence. It's actually really fun to watch them talk. It's like Sister Pace is talking to herself. But she really has such a desire to learn. We knew we wanted to teach her about the Restoration, but we both felt super strongly that we should focus on Christ and his earthly ministry and atonement. Sister Pace laminated this awesome picture of Christ and wrote some scriptures on the back for Milla. When we gave Milla the picture, her whole face lit up and she just kept saying "Oh thank you, oh thank you". It's amazing how having a picture of Christ changes the entire spirit of a room or home. That is one thing I want everyone to have...if you don't have a picture of Christ somewhere where you can see it all the time, get one! It's what changes a regular home to the home of a member or better yet, the home of a disciple of Christ! We need to remember Him always!

    So we have been trying super hard to not be frustrated with Caius and Tuulia lately. Their kids are wonderful and need and want the gospel SO BAD it's insane. It's just super hard to work with the parents. Sister Pace and I have talked about it a lot, and we really don't want to just baptize these kids and throw them back to the sharks. That wouldn't do them any good. But when we try to work with the parents, they don't want to cooperate. Anyways, This week during weekly planning, Sister Pace and I both felt that we just needed to give them to the Lord for a few weeks and see what happened. We felt good about it especially since we are trying to do missionary work by the "Lean Machine" method. The Lean Machine means we focus on 3-4 solid investigators, 3-4 less actives/recent converts, and 2 member families. That way, we can focus on daily contact with investigators and really really helping them progress as opposed to having like 238734 investigators that we see once a month and never go anywhere. Boy has it been working well...

    So Saturday night comes around and Sister Pace and I had worked so hard to get Milla to church. We had a member invite her and offer to give her a ride and Milla totally said she would come! We were so excited! And then, as we were sitting at dinner, I looked at Sister Pace and said, "You know, I think we should try one more time to get those kids to church." She agreed and we called a member in our ward, asked if he would be willing to pick them up, then called Tuulia and she was SO NICE and totally said we could come get the kids for church. What the heck? I have been trying for months to get these kids to church and the second I turn it over the the Lord...BOOM....miracle! Literally it's a miracle! I don't think anyone really understands the magnitude of what just happened! :)

    Anyways, long story short, BEST SUNDAY IN CHURCH EVER!!! We had 4 investigators there, Milla and the kids, 1 less active, and my boy CHAU PASSED THE SACRAMENT IN A WHITE SHIRT AND TIE! Seriously, I was so happy sitting there looking around at all the people I have been praying for and working with and man...it was just the best! Granted, our happiness shouldn't depend on numbers or "success" in life, but I learned a valuable lesson this week. This transfer has been super hard, for a number of reasons, but every single trial, tear, hardship, frustration, pain, and everything else was nothing compared to the joy I felt yesterday in church. As a matter of fact, they all went away. I literally couldn't remember any of the hard things that have happened these past 10 weeks! Heavenly Father gives us trials because He loves us. How does that make sense? I don't know. But I know every time we are frustrated or wonder, "Why me, Heavenly Father?" he is just sitting up there looking at us just pleading for us to keep going and to trust him. Plus, we wouldn't be half as grateful for our blessings if we didn't have to go through some trials as well. Like it says in my favorite song, "You can never know the good if you never know the bad, you can never be happy if you've never been sad...it's called opposition my friends, opposition" (Yes, i did just forget the rest of the words to that song) but man, My Turn on Earth knows what's up! :) Thanks mom for introducing us to that!

     But seriously, trials bring us closer to our Father in Heaven. I think that is the case for two reason, A, we are humbled by them which in turn gives us the opportunity to ask our loving Heavenly Father for help and B, we literally are strengthened and refined EVERY SINGLE DAY we go through something hard which makes us more like our Savior. Wading through the muck is awful. It's not fun. No one wants it, but I think we are all grateful for it in the end. I have that picture you sent me, mom, of you and dad and I the day you dropped me off at the MTC #wasthatreallife but I was looking at that picture the other day and I realized, I don't even know that person anymore...myself I mean! :) I just looked at myself and thought, "Man, I am so grateful that Heavenly Father has done more with my life than I could myself." I thought I was doing pretty well before my mission and I was doing alright. It's not like I was evil... Not like I lived perfectly...obviously, but man, it scares me to think that my pride almost kept me from trusting in my Father in Heaven. He knew what I needed before I even came here. He knew I needed Finland. He knew I needed to leave my family. He knew I needed my trainer and all my companions and all the hard things that have come on my mission, but he also knew that the joy and everything else I would experience in Finland would give me experience and would be for my good. We just have to believe that is true. There is no other option, but I can promise each of you, because I have experienced it, that as we turn it over to the Lord, we will be amazed at what he can do with each of our lives. We will look at what we have and what we have accomplished and think, "Wow, there is NO WAY I could have done all of that on my own." It really is such a happy, peaceful way to live. Not to be all "Miss America/meditation man, but that really is how we find inner peace. WE LET GO. Give it all up. It's so much better. 

    One of my FAVORITE talks is "Swallowed up in the will of the Father" by Neal A. Maxwell. I think I have talked about this before, but it's brilliant...seriously...go read it! But a couple of things he says really highlight CRUCIAL truths about "Consecration" and trusting in the Lord. He says:

    So many of us are kept from eventual consecration because we mistakenly think that, somehow, by letting our will be swallowed up in the will of God, we lose our individuality (see Mosiah 15:7). What we are really worried about, of course, is not giving up self, but selfish things—like our roles, our time, our preeminence, and our possessions. No wonder we are instructed by the Savior to lose ourselves (see Luke 9:24). He is only asking us to lose the old self in order to find the new self. It is not a question of one’s losing identity but of finding his true identity! Ironically, so many people already lose themselves anyway in their consuming hobbies and preoccupations but with far, far lesser things.

    I love that..."finding our TRUE identity"...ok keep reading...

    Thus, brothers and sisters, consecration is not resignation or a mindless caving in. Rather, it is a deliberate expanding outward, making us more honest when we sing, “More used would I be” (“More Holiness Give Me,”1985, Hymns, no. 131). Consecration, likewise, is not shoulder-shrugging acceptance, but, instead, shoulder-squaring to better bear the yoke.

    Mom, this is your favorite song and I love it too...but think about that...turning outward when it's easy to turn inward is what it means to be consecrated...interesting thought...

    Along this pathway leading to consecration, stern and unsought challenges sometimes hasten this jettisoning, which is needed to achieve increased consecration (see Hel. 12:3). If we have grown soft, hard times may be necessary. If we are too contented, a dose of divine discontent may come. A relevant insight may be contained in reproof. A new calling beckons us away from comfortable routines wherein the needed competencies have already been developed. One may be stripped of accustomed luxury so that the malignant mole of materialism may be removed. One may be scorched by humiliation so pride can be melted away. Whatever we lack will get attention, one way or another.

    How many of us have felt that way? I think everyone...

    Consecration is thus both a principle and a process, and it is not tied to a single moment. Instead, it is freely given, drop by drop, until the cup of consecration brims and finally runs over.

    Thus, acknowledging God’s hand includes, in the words of the Prophet Joseph, trusting that God has made “ample provision” beforehand to achieve all His purposes, including His purposes in our lives (Teachings of the Prophet Joseph Smith, p. 220). Sometimes He clearly directs; other times it seems He merely permits some things to happen. Therefore, we will not always understand the role of God’s hand, but we know enough of his heart and mind to be submissive. Thus when we are perplexed and stressed, explanatory help is not always immediately forthcoming, but compensatory help will be. Thus our process of cognition gives way to our personal submission, as we experience those moments when we learn to “be still, and know that I am God” (Ps. 46:10).

    Then, the more one’s will is thus “swallowed up,” the more his afflictions, rather than necessarily being removed, will be “swallowed up in the joy of Christ” (Alma 31:38).

    The Joy of Christ...I think that is what it means when we can't remember our pains anymore...they are literally washed away through Christ....

    In conclusion, the submission of one’s will is really the only uniquely personal thing we have to place on God’s altar. The many other things we “give,” brothers and sisters, are actually the things He has already given or loaned to us. However, when you and I finally submit ourselves, by letting our individual wills be swallowed up in God’s will, then we are really giving something to Him! It is the only possession which is truly ours to give!

    Consecration thus constitutes the only unconditional surrender which is also a total victory!

    Isn't that the most brilliant thing? Granted, this whole consecration thing is probably the greatest process we could ever find ourselves in, but man...I just feel like sometimes when we get a little taste of that "joy of Christ" nothing else really matters! As we really let our will be swallowed up in the will of the father, we will experience greater joy than we can ever imagine! Helaman 3:35 and Mosiah 2:41 are two of my favorite scriptures for that reason! I am just so grateful for Heavenly Father and his plan and what he has in store for each of us. It's so exciting to think about all the changes and big things that are coming in our lives. I got a blessing a few weeks ago, and in it is said, "More great and wonderful things are ahead." I was like YAAAAAAHHHH!!! I can't wait to see what is coming next and the greatest thing is that Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ will always be with us. Nothing will ever take that away! It's awesome! We can have TOTAL VICTORY as we give our will to the Father! It's so cool! 

    Anyways, I love you all so much and am so grateful for you! I hope you always remember that I am in Finland, praying my heart out for you! You are all so wonderful and I know Heavenly Father loves each and every one of you so much! Thank you so much for all you have done for me! I really don't feel worthy enough to call you my family, but for some reason, I am the luckiest person in the world! Have the best week ever! :) I love you so much!!

    Rakkaudella,

    Sisar Olivia Bitner 

My boy Chau passed the sacrament on Sunday!! YIPPPPPPPPEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!

I love to see the TEMPLE IN HELSINKI FINLAND!!

    Oh my goodness....man oh man...where have you been all my life? Seriously, no more lack of P-day weeks...I missed you all way too much! How the heck are you all doing? Geez...can I just tell you how much I love every single picture and letter I get? I get so PUMPED every Monday to see all your beautiful faces! BTW, HAPPY WEDDING SHOUTOUT TO MY COUSIN HANNAH BANANA!! Man Hannah, I am so happy for you! You looked SOOOO beautiful, but mostly you looked so happy! I am so grateful for your example to me of being married in the temple! I am so happy for you and Brandon and just so happy, period! You two are so wonderful and I love you both! But anyways, thank you all so much for your love and support. Really, it lifts me up all the time and helps me keep moving forward on the tough days! You are all the best and I love you so much!!

     Mom thank you so much for the package and for the other package and for just being awesome!! I love your idea about the group message and scripture study! BRILLIANT!!! I hope that goes well!! Dad, I heard about your garage and am SO EXCITED to see it. Are all the deer heads still alive and well? I mean....dead and well? I told Sister Pace you have deer heads in the garage and she about died....she really loves animals! hahaha anyways Joce....HAPPY 18TH BIRTHDAY!!! Holy cow...I think I had some sort of a mid-life crisis with my little sis turning 18. That is insanity! But I am so happy for you and so excited for you to go tear up Utah State! Just keep the house clean...haha just kidding! But seriously! Anne, you MADE THE LAYTON HIGH SCHOOL SOCCER TEAM!!! YAYAYAYAY!!! You get to have that quality Layton High School coaching! Yeah! :) I am so proud of you though and am so excited to watch you play next year! Send lots of pictures and good luck with your first games! Remember, don't get in the way of the seniors, but definitely show them what's up...you've got skill! :) I really do miss those days a lot...it is fun to play for your school! Wear the Lancer blue well!! I am way happy for you! You will love it!! La-La, BB I LOVE YOU SO MUCH!! You are starting 8th grade??? MY GOODNESS!! Why are you so old? I didn't even recognize you in the pictures! You are so gorgeous and I am so excited that tennis is going well! You have to teach me when I get home! Promise?? Ok good!! :) Luke and shweeda shweeda....5th grade!! Man...you two are so old too! I heard you are both already better than me at soccer...dang it! Oh well, I will have to get back in shape before we play again...but I am way proud of both of you! I can't wait to watch you play again!! Man, why are you all growing up? You're making mom sad...and me! But I am so happy for all of you and hope school and everything is going well!! I love and miss you all so much!!!

    Well, I don't even know where to begin with this e-mail!! SO MUCH has happened these past two weeks! It's been crazy! Speaking of which, we only have 2 weeks left in this transfer. Sister Pace and I could stay together or we could be getting split up! Also, we just found out that on September 12, we are having a mission conference which means all the missionaries in Finland are going to Helsinki because ELDER BEDNAR IS COMING TO SEE US!!! Did you know his son served in Finland and particularly in Vaasa? REPRESENT! Anyways, we are all super excited! Just some good news from up north!!

    Our investigators are doing really well...well the investigators are...the parents aren't. Ronja, Tinja, and Caspian can't get baptized on the 30th because they haven't been to church yet. We have tried so hard to arrange rides and to make it as easy as possible, but it's just not happening. I talked to President Watson about it and he said that we need to approach it from a different angle. I am not tired of trying different angles, I just wish we knew what to do with them. But Milla, our other investigator is doing great. We had such a good lesson with her COMPLETELY by the spirit. It was the best lesson I have been in in a long time. We just testified of the importance of the Book of Mormon and how it has blessed our lives and at the end of the lesson she said, "Ok, I am in. I am going to do this." Bank on the Book of Mormon man. It's the sword of missionary work! Oh my goodness, funny story, so we were walking down the street one day, and this lady walks out of a building and her shirt said in big red letters, "Virginia". Well that's something you don't see every day, so I asked her, "Excuse me, have you been to Virginia before?" She proceeded to tell me that she was born in Vaasa but moved to America when she was 15. Just as she is explaining that, this Santa Claus look-a-like man jumps out of a car and says, "Ok, I need to get in on this, I know who you guys are" in perfect American english. I was like Woah, that's something you really don't see everyday. Anyways, we proceed to talk to them and come to find out, they are from Virginia, met each other in California and are here in Finland for the next 4 months. Their names are Harry and Liisa and Liisa's father passed away a few months ago, so they are living in his möki or summer home here in Vaasa. As we continued to talk to them, both of them at the same time said, "Hey can we give you our number? We would love for you to come to our home and talk to us more about your message." Uh...mer....ya....sure? haha that really really was something you don't see every day. Anyways, we have an appointment with Harry and Liisa on Thursday, so pray all goes well with them! They are awesome!!

     Anyways, two weeks ago...man that feels like 23478932798 years ago, we had our mini missionary, Sisar Koivisto from Turku! She is awesome! We had such a great time with her and she taught us so much! We didn't really do anything different other than normal missionary work, we just had a fluent companion. It was wonderful and she answered SO MANY of my finnish questions. I wonder if I will ever not have questions about finnish. Some days I feel really good about it and other days when someone starts talking to me I feel like Elder Calhoun on the Best Two Years when he tries to order bread from that bakery! I hope my siblings all appreciate that reference! :) But she is 18 and is planning on serving her mission next summer. She was so cute and wrote Sister Pace and I notes all the time. She was way too nice to me, but really just made us feel so good about ourselves. Honestly, I have to brag about the finns for awhile....they are the best people in the world. I have conversed with them, gotten to know them, and been in their homes for 8 months, but man, having one as a companion really shed a lot of light on their goodness and their desire to serve our Heavenly Father. Not to mention they are like the sweetest people and the best friends you could ever have in the world. Sisar Koivisto would always mention how this was just the beginning of our lifelong friendship. We spoke in English in the apartment and then Finnish outside...or at least we tried, but she was super patient and helped us out a lot! She told me that before I leave my mission, if my family comes to get me, we have to go to Turku and stay with the Koivistos so plan on that! :) Anyways, I just love her a lot and was so grateful that we had the chance to be with her. She taught me that sometimes the littlest things make the biggest difference and that it's so important that we share our testimony at every opportunity we are given. Man, it was just a wonderful week with her!!

    So we dropped her off at the train station on Saturday night and then on Sunday, Sisar Pace and I headed down to Helsinki. Oh my goodness...I have to tell you about the train...hahahaha ok so we get on the train and head to our seats and these WAY SKETCHY looking guys were already sitting there. When I say sketchy, I'm not kidding. Probably super judgmental, but these guys had no shirts on, were COVERED in tattoos, too many piercings to count, no shoes, and two big glasses of beer in each hand. I walked into the car on the train, looked at the seat numbers they were sitting in, had a heart attack...and then I, being the senior companion said in my wonderful finnish...NOT...."Uh excuse me, I think you are sitting in our seats." One of the guys looks up at me with a beer foam mustache and busts up laughing and mutters something...in swedish...to his buddy. They looked at us and both just busted up laughing. Needless to say, they didn't move.

     Anyways, Sisar Pace and I found other seats, but we came to find out real fast that it was a full train. No extra seats. So we proceed back to our dear shirtless friends and I said, in English this time..."Excuse me, these are our seats." The same mustache guy looked at me with bloodshot eyes and stood up and staggered off down the aisle. His friend stood up and moved out of the way...I sat down...and then he sat down right next to me with his beer sloshing all around in his cup. So if you can picture this...Sister Pace and I are sitting across from each other....this guy is sitting next to me with his bare feet up on the seat next to Sister Pace just slurping his beer and burping right in my face. I was pretty terrified, but at the same time, it really motivated me. I thought about talking to the guy, but he was so hammered he couldn't even hear what I said. Anyways, it just made me so sad to see what horrible things alcohol does to people. That guy was completely out of his mind, practically naked on a public train. What kind of a life is that? I felt so awful. It's just sad how Satan gets people. We have to do the little things every day to stay safe. We had a lesson on Sunday about being in the world but not of the world. It's so true. We have all this junk around us all the time, but we have to stay strong. We have to stand up for our beliefs. We will all be called upon at one point or another to do it. We need to be prepared for that. Anyways, I will hop off the "Missionaries against Alcohol" soap box, but it was a pretty interesting train ride, to say the least.

    So we made it to Helsinki! I really enjoy Helsinki. I would bet 5 million dollars that there is at least one person from each nationality in Helsinki. It's awesome!! We stayed with Sister Owen and Sister Venz while we were there! They are so wonderful and we had such a good time with them! Oh wait, maybe I can kind of explain what happens at Interim. Ok, so when a trainee gets to 6 weeks, or 7 weeks in our case, in the country, we have Interim training. All the trainers and trainees go to Helsinki for 3 days. On Monday and Tuesday, we have training in the mission home with the AP's and President and Sister Watson and then on Wednesday we have language school in the morning and then go to the temple in the afternoon. Well needless to say, Monday morning I was STOKED!! I was so excited to see Sister Thayne and Sister Woods and all the other wonderful missionaries that I know and love. We walked in and Sister Thayne had saved me a seat...she is just the greatest thing in the world. I love her so much! But anyways it was just so good to see everyone!

    President Watson and Sister Watson are incredible. We learned so many wonderful things about doing missionary work and I really had been praying that I would be able to know what to do to help my companion. Sister Pace has really been struggling with everything. She is pretty hard on herself and was just super discouraged about everything. I have tried every way I know how to help her and nothing was working. I tried to talk to her, she definitely didn't want that. I tried to leave her alone and just work as usual, but then it got worse. Needless to say, I was feeling pretty heavy-hearted, discouraged, and tired heading down to Interim. President Watson really did say so many wonderful things that I needed to hear. In my mind, when I heard I was training, I was so excited and thought to myself, "Ok, I am going to do everything right. I am going to help my trainee be independent, I am going to help her do hard things, I am going to lift her up and support her, yadda yadda yadda!" Well, I got my idealist situation into my idealist brain and it all came back and blew up in my face. My trainee didn't want any of the things I had anticipated doing...in fact, those things made her angry. She wanted to be left alone. Man, I hope this doesn't sound whiny, cause I don't want to whine, but I have just had the hardest time these past few months knowing how to work with Sister Pace. I know I need to listen and love her, but even that isn't enough. I felt like I wasn't enough. I wasn't what she needed. Even right now writing this, I still don't think I am. I know we are together for a reason...God doesn't make mistakes....and I know I really don't even need to know why, but sometimes I wonder, "Why? Why are we together Heavenly Father?" I just don't understand it. She thinks I am crazy because I love to talk and to share my feelings and to really have strong relationships. She doesn't do that. Never has. It's like we are friends, but we are both always walking on egg shells because we just don't understand the other one. I don't know...I was just feeling pretty exhausted at Interim and was hoping and praying pretty hard for some answers.

    We learned so much about missionary work and being disciples of Christ. I wish I could just type up all my notes and send them to you, but I will show you them someday! On Wednesday we started heading to the temple and I still just felt so heavy-hearted. That really was the best way to describe it. I didn't expect Interim to solve my problems, but I expected some answers. I got answers to other prayers, but not to this "big prayer" I had been praying about for 7 weeks! Anyways, we drive up to the temple and I just looked at it and I couldn't stop myself from crying. It was literally the light at the end of my tunnel. We walked in and it was BEAUTIFUL!!! Literally, I can't even explain it and probably shouldn't. It was so Finnish. It was gorgeous. My favorite part was that we took off our shoes...just like in every Finnish home...they had a mud room!! WHAT?? It was awesome! Anyways, I really wish I could just tell you everything about how I felt and what I experienced, but after the session, I was just sitting in the most beautiful room I have ever seen and I felt like I was home. I felt so warm. I felt so peaceful and so happy. I hadn't felt that way for a long time. I just sat there and all of a sudden, my entire mission just came rushing into my brain. It started off on October 16, 2013 when I said goodbye to my family. I went through the MTC...the hardest and most wonderful 9 weeks of my life, I went to Tampere with Sister Egan and Sister Jones and then went to Vaasa with Sister Foster, Sister Fronk and now Sister Pace and I was just overcome with gratitude and love for my Father in Heaven. He loves us. Isn't that incredible? It just blows my mind.

     Dad, you always say how retrospect is an interesting thing and you are right. As I was looking back at my mission and all these different images were popping into my head, I was just overcome. Literally Heavenly Father and my Savior Jesus Christ have been with me every single step of the way. There have been so many times...too many to count where I have felt alone. Times when I have been in darkness and have been confused and frustrated and tired. He never left. He was always there. He has sent me help in so many ways. I know there are people working here with me every day.  Heavenly Father has allowed them to be with me and I am so beyond grateful for that. I love my family. I love you all so much. I can't even tell you how important you all are to me. I want you all to be happy. I want you to be safe. But mostly I want you to feel how much Heavenly Father loves each of you. I love you so much, but He loves you perfectly. We can't even begin to understand the love he has for each of us. The times in our lives when we feel the spirit so strongly are just glimpses of that eternal joy we can feel when we are with Him again, as families.

    Remember when we were in Nauvoo and on our very last night, we all sat on the stage and sang "God Be with you til we meet again?" That is one of the times in my life when I can say I was pretty dang close to perfectly happy. The temple on Wednesday was another of those times and I have had SO many of those times on my mission. This is the greatest thing that has ever happened to me. I am so humbled and grateful to my Heavenly Father that he helped me get here, even when I didn't want to be. He knew better than I. He always does and everything we are given in life...trials and challenges included...are because he loves us. He wants us to grow, but he is not here to punish us. The first thing we teach people is "God is our LOVING Heavenly Father." There comes a time in all of our lives, I think, when our relationship with Him changes from God to Father. I think about my earthly father and how much I love Him and how much I wish I could just see him for minute. Then I think about my Heavenly Father and I miss him too. He wants us all back so badly. I know he does. That's why us 80,000 plus missionaries are out here....He wants us to get all his children back. I think sometimes in life, we are afraid of what Heavenly Father has in store for us. I know I am. Think about it, every person on this earth has been SAVED for this time. Not just sent, but we were all SAVED to come here. Right now. Right where we are! Have you ever really thought about that? "Have you ever really pondered that?" to quote President Watson. This isn't a coincidence. Nothing is. Heavenly Father is in control and He will not let us fail. I know He won't. The greatest evidence we have of God's love for us is that He sent His Son, Jesus Christ, to be our Savior.

     During interim, Elder Tippetts, one of the APs told us a story about his great-grandpa. So his grandpa...I think his name was Tom lived on a farm when he was a kid. On their farm, when you turned 8, you were able of course to get baptized, but also to drive the tractor and plow the fields. Well, one day, Tom received the assignment from his father to go and plow the fields. In farming, you have to stick to the schedule so that you can harvest your crops at the right time. It was pretty critical that the field was plowed and ready for the next day of planting. Anyways, Tom sets out, gets about halfway down with the first field and then he sees a jackrabbit. Now Tom, being an 8 year old little boy stops the tractor, jumps out and chases after the rabbit into the woods. He gets into the woods and become Paul Bunyon. He is playing with all the animals and just having a great old time being a little kid. Well, Tom loses track of time and before he knows it, the sun is starting to set. He remembers in his cute little 8 year old brain, "Oh no, I have to plow the fields." So he runs back to the tractor and starts working. Before long, the sun completely sets and before he knows it, it is completely dark. To top it all off, the light on his tractor burns out. Not only can he not finish plowing, but now he can't even get home. He starts crying as would be expected. Just then, he hears another tractor coming in the distance. He looks up and sees the light of his older brother's tractor shining on him. Tom explains to his brother what happened during the day. His brother looks at him and smiles and says, "Come with me, let's go home." Tom climbs in with his brother and as they are driving back, he notices that every single one of the other fields he was supposed to plow have already been plowed. His brother had done it all for him. They get to the house and the Father asks, "Have all the fields been plowed." Tom's older brother looks down at Tom and then back at their Father and says, "Yes. The work is done." Then, the father welcomes both sons into the house and sends them to bed.

     Man, that story just about killed me. That is the gospel of Jesus Christ. In the end, our older brother is going to be the one who saves us from ourselves. He is the difference between us being out alone in the dark to being nice and warm in bed. He has already paid the price, now we just have to do our part to serve and follow him. I know He is our Savior. I know he loves us and that no matter how far we feel we have fallen or how far off the path we are, we can always come back. It is never too late! I just love you all so much and am so grateful for all you do for me. The gospel is true. It's all real. God loves us and has a plan for us! Now it's our turn to trust Him. He won't leave us alone! Thank you all so much for everything! Good luck with school and work and soccer and tennis and everything else this week! You are all wonderful and I love you so much!

    Rakkaudella,

    Sisar Olivia Bitner

    P.S. Something Finnish....The temple...there are only 5,000 members here and they have a temple...talk about foreshadowing! :) I love you!!!

Me and Sisar Susanna Koivisto...our mini missionary

My comps

Me and my comps...and Vaasa

Of course we bought her McDonalds for her last night with the Amerikkalaiset! :)

Me and Sisar Pace heading to Helsinki

MY BESTEST FRIEND EVER!!!

Our hosts for the week, Sisaret Owen ja Venz

THE MOST BEAUTIFUL TEMPLE IN THE WORLD....and Nauvoo and Salt Lake!!

this place is my home

oh mom, I finally saw the moon! FOLLOW ME MR: MOON!!

Finnish clouds....Nothing better

We love driving....Sisar Pace drives SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO slow...like under the speed limit....man oh man....it's way....funny....sort of :) then again, I am the one who got the speeding ticket....maybe I should learn from her....

Remember that one time...

    Hey guys!!! Remember that one time last p-day when I flipping DELETED MY WHOLE EMAIL I MEANT TO SEND HOME. Man, I can't even tell you how devastated I was. I know...way to be dramatic, but for real, I pour my heart and soul into these emails and to see it all taken away was a big old steak knife to the heart! Speaking of steak...I am seriously craving some Steak Diane right about now...can you send that in my birthday package? haha EW! That would be gross! But anyways,  Hopefully we have all come out alright...I can't promise it won't happen again...but I am saving this about every other sentence so hopefully, it all works out! You are all so wonderful! Thanks for being patient with me! :)

    So first off...BEST PACKAGE EVER!! You guys are too sweet to me! I literally about ate the whole box of Jared Munchies #foreverafatty and tears came to my eyes at the sight of White Cheddar Cheez-its and Sour Punch Straws. You know the way to my heart, that's for sure! :) Thank you so much for the raha dad...that means money...and for all the wonderful letters and other stuff as well!! :) You are all way too good to me but I appreciate it and all of you so much!!!!

    I hope you all had the best week ever! It sounds like Bear Lake was a huge success and that the Bitners still know how to party! :) I heard about the sprinklers....HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA It wouldn't be a camping trip without everything getting completely soaked. You thought you could escape it in Bear Lake and than SHAPOW!! Sprinklers! Heavenly Father has a sense of humor! :) Just kidding...that wasn't his doing, but still, way funny! I love hearing the same story from all your different perspectives! It's way too hilarious and I can just hear you guys each telling me about it! I love you all! Thank you all for being you! You deserve to be told that every single day!!

    Well...I just have so much to say this week...2 whole weeks of not writing...I am about to explode...but we had a really good week this week! A lot of traveling...again...but such is the life of a Vaasa sister! I love it so much! I have to tell you about Monday night. So I kind of have told you a little bit about how Sister Pace has told me "You can be yourself around me, you just cant' do this or this or that or that...oh it also bugs me when you do this and that and..." blah blah blah. Kind of hard to be yourself when someone is putting restrictions on it. Anyways, last LAST week, I really tried to not step on her toes. I know she doesn't like to listen, so I just didn't talk about anything. I wasn't resentful or spiteful or jerky to her, I just didn't say anything about how I was feeling. I know as you are reading this, especially you, family, you are probably thinking, "Oh boy...SHE'S GONNA BLOW". And you are right. I blew up. But luckily...it was in the sauna in our apartment...did I tell you we have a sauna? We obviously don't use it #lame but it's a great place to pray and to not be alone sometimes. Anyways, I went in the sauna and I just cried. I haven't cried that hard in a LONG time. I know...I probably sound like a baby...but honestly I just told Heavenly Father everything. I prayed for like 1 1/2 hours. Don't worry, it was P-day! :) As I was sitting there, I looked over at my suitcase (unused saunas are great storage spaces) and I had the feeling to look in the front pocket. I looked in there and I had saved a note from my wonderful mother that she sent to me when I was in the MTC. It was so wonderful to see it again...and the one line that stuck out to me was "Thank you for being you." Mom, you said that to me and I needed to hear it SO BADLY on Monday. I am sure you didn't know you would be answering a prayer when you wrote that, but you totally did! I realized...in the sauna...wow this sounds way pathetic, but I have thought so much this week about being ourselves. After I read that, I realized that is probably exactly what Heavenly Father would say to each of us if He were standing right next to us. I realized that I am who I am and Heavenly Father loves me for that. What anyone else thinks really doesn't matter. In the end, He will always love us. It's like President Monson said in a Relief Society Meeting a couple years ago, "God's love is simply always there whether we deserve it or not." Thanks mom for being an answer to my prayer...again! I love you!!

    Anyways, after I prayed, Sister Pace and I had a great talk. She really is such a great person. I love her a lot. I think I wrote this in my letter last week but....hahaha....none of you received it....but anyways, I have been praying SO HARD to know how to help her and what I could do so that we could have a good relationship. Two words came to my mind as I prayed....LISTEN and LOVE. I just sat there praying, thinking, "Ok Heavenly Father, it can't be that easy." But I told him I would try it. It has been miraculous! This week she has really opened up to me. She has told me a lot about her life and why she does the things that she does. Granted, it still hurts when she says things sometimes, but I have a greater understanding of the "Why". I know that Heavenly Father is blessing me with love and patience for her and the great thing is, I really do love her so much. She really is a crack up! She always is talking in this voice that sounds like a chipmunk and I always catch her staring at me. Seriously, it's hilarious. I will be eating or driving or talking to someone or reading my scriptures or getting ready and she just comes and stands next to/behind me and stares...and stares...and stares...I usually just let it slide, but this week I said, "Sister Pace, is there something I can do for you?" and she didn't even hear me...she just kept staring. It's an interesting thing being with someone 24/7. Gotta love it. Let's just say the song "I always feel like somebody's watching me" has taken on a whole new meaning for me! I love my greenie! :)

    This week we had splits with the Sister Training Leaders on Tuesday, Sister Hubner and Sister Lund. Sister Hubner trained my BFF from Logan, UT Sisar Pack and Sisar Lund was trained by my best friend Sisar Fronk. Needless to say, I love them both a lot. Sister Lund and I were so fortunate as to be chosen to work in Seinäjoki for the day. Party!! :) It was so wonderful to talk with her and especially to talk about our favorite, Sister Fronk. Sister Fronk, if you are reading this...I love you so much and miss you like crazy! But anyways, we decided together that morning that we were going to follow every little thought we had for the entire day...if it was good. We studied in Preach My Gospel about following the spirit and this is what we read:

    In answer to the question, “How do we recognize the promptings of the Spirit?” President Gordon B. Hinckley read Moroni 7:13, 16–17 and then said: “That’s the test, when all is said and done. Does it persuade one to do good, to rise, to stand tall, to do the right thing, to be kind, to be generous? Then it is of the Spirit of God. …

    “If it invites to do good, it is of God. If it inviteth to do evil, it is of the devil. … And if you are doing the right thing and if you are living the right way, you will know in your heart what the Spirit is saying to you.

    “You recognize the promptings of the Spirit by the fruits of the Spirit—that which enlighteneth, that which buildeth up, that which is positive and affirmative and uplifting and leads us to better thoughts and better words and better deeds is of the Spirit of God” 

    I love that so much! Following the spirit isn't always easy. Sometimes it's easy to think, "Well that was probably just me thinking that," or "We really don't have time" or "Would God really tell me to do that?" The problem with those thoughts is that if we think that way, the opportunity to act is already gone. Later on in Chapter 4 of PMG, it says,

    Your task is to live worthily, pray fervently, and learn to recognize and follow courageously the Spirit’s guidance.

    That little sentence right there is the kind of missionary and person I want to be. That is our only task. To live worthily, pray with all our heart, and then follow the promptings we receive. I love lists and this list is not only applicable and attainable, but it works! It works really well! Tuesday was evidence of that. We didn't have a whole lot planned, but we had some different names to visit and we just said, "Ok, we are following all our good thoughts today." I know you are probably expecting some miraculous story but nothing particularly miraculous happened except I have never been so happy doing missionary work in my whole life. I was so happy! We had the best day ever and were just laughing and talking to all the people and teaching and testifying, but most importantly, sharing our testimonies. I realized this week that is what missionary work is. It's about living worthily, praying fervantly, and learning to recognize and follow courageously the Spirit's guidance to share our testimonies. We do that in so many different ways. We do it by our example. We do it by smiling. We do it by saying "Hey" or "Moi" in my case. We do it by listening. We do it by loving. We do it by treating others as the Savior would and we do that by actually telling others what we know to be true. The spirit does the converting, it's just our job to open our mouths!

    While Sisar Lund and I were in Seinäjoki, Sisar Pace and Sisar Hubner found this BOMB AWESOME INVESTIGATOR, Milla. Milla is a finn, 23, red hair, english major, and is probably the sweetest person in the world! Sisar Pace was so excited to tell me the story when I got home that night...I wish she could tell it to you, but I will do my best. So they were sitting in the Tori...center of town...waiting for this semi-interested investigator to come and meet them there. As luck would have it, he called and cancelled, but they both felt they should stay at the bench they were at for awhile. Apparently, this man came over to them and started yelling about why the church isn't true and how stupid we are for being here and how we should go back to America...honestly people aren't very original...but Sisar Pace said, "We just sat there and politely testified and secretly wanted to punch him in the nose." Anyways, this guy left and Sisar Hubner starts talking to this little old lady about the weather when Milla turns around and just butts into the conversation and says, "Ya, it looks like rain today". They all did a double take and were like "Ok, thank you random woman." But the older woman left and then Milla pops up and comes and sits next to them and says, "I am really sorry, I didn't mean to butt it, but I think what you guys were saying to that man is true and is really interesting. Would you mind telling me a little more about it?" Sisar Pace was practically bouncing off the walls...she is so stinking funny...but anyways, Milla became a new investigator!! It was awesome!!

    We had a church tour with her this week and the whole time she was just asking question after question after question and just wasn't satisfied until she knew basically everything we believe. She is the first investigator I have had that actually genuinely wants to believe the same way we do right at the beginning. She would say, "How do you guys feel about infant baptism?" and we would explain and she would follow up with "Phew, Ok, me too." Then she said, "I hear you guys don't drink coffee, but how do you feel about tea?" We explained, then she said "Well I guess it wouldn't be too hard for me to give up coffee or tea. I mean...I don't really NEED it." In my head I was like, dang girl, you planning on joining so soon? Hopefully YES. But she got sick and couldn't come to church. Oddly enough, I really believe she was sick. She wanted to come and she will next week, but anyways, pray for Milla and a baptismal date!!! She needs this and wants it so bad! I love MIlla!!

    Tuulia's kids are doing well. It's been a really frustrating week...Tuulia wouldn't answer her phone or answer texts...again...so the kids didn't come to church...again. Man...Satan is working hard on this family and it's ticking me off. He is a punk and needs to go away! #millenium But anyways, we got in to their house last night and wrote down all of our appointments for the month of August so that they could know exactly when we were coming. Sisar Kronqvist said she would pick them up at 9:30 every Sunday for church so we are just hoping and praying it goes well! These kids are awesome! Tinja is 11 and she has already read the Book of Mormon to 2 Nephi....it's been a week and a half. Caspian is 8 and is trying hard to read, but we gave him that little Book of Mormon stories book and he likes that better. Ronja is also reading and praying every day. It is seriously the greatest feeling in the world to teach these kids! I loved teaching primary and I love teaching it again...sort of! Kids are so sincere and they really love Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ. No wonder we are commanded to become as little children. They are great examples to me!

     I don't know if I have told you this yet, but we play soccer for 1 hour each week with our ward. It's so stinking fun! Seriously...I LOVE SOCCER!! This week we had so many non-members there, it was awesome! Our team totally dominated...I scored some goals...it felt pretty good! Sometimes when I feel like I still don't speak Finnish and I can't be a missionary, I go play soccer and it reminds me that I did know how to do something once! :) Anyways, the saddest thing happened at soccer...I probably shouldn't even tell you but oh well, the cat's out of the bag now...there was this little kid at the game. His dad wouldn't let him play because he is like 2 and there were a lot of big scary finnish men playing. He was sitting on the sideline, but towards the end of the game, he decided he wanted to come play. He jumped up and ran in the middle of the field. Meanwhile, I was dribbling the ball up the sideline, trying to get away from this Turkish man who just started playing with us from off the street #alwaysfinding but anyways, I get past him and cross the ball as hard as I can and BOOM!!! I drilled the little kid right in the head. He dropped like a sack of dirt. It was awful and I was horrified. I felt so awful and he was just crying and screaming his head off. Worst thing is, his dad isn't a member so now what he thinks about mormon missionaries is that they hit kids in the head with stuff...really hard. Man, I still feel horrible about it, but everyone else was laughing. I didn't think it was funny at all. The worst thing is that yesterday at church, everyone thought it was still funny...now everyone knows about it! I am surprised that someone didn't mention it in their testimony! But hey...the kid is fine, I learned my lesson....don't let Turkish men tick you off! Anyways, it really is a good way to find investigators...three teenage boys just showed up that we don't even know! They said they want to come play again this week! I think it's so good for people to see that we are normal people and we do stupid stuff like hit kids in the head with a ball! I love this ward though! They are so great!!

    This week has been incredible with our members! For the last 6 weeks, we have done nothing but LOVE LOVE LOVE them and really tried to build them up and help them see how awesome they are! They Finns, in general are a bunch of perfectionists and are SUPER critical of themselves. They HATE being complimented. I thought before it was just because they were awkward, but the more i get to know them, the more I realize that they genuinely don't believe they are good people. When we tell them they are...they feel like a bunch of frauds. They really are the best people I know. I hope some Finnish goodness rubs off on me, because they really amaze me every day. Their faith and hope and love for God and others is inspiring. Anyways, this week we had 4 dinner appointments, 2 unscheduled "Hey Sisters, do you want to stop by for like 20 minutes and give our family a lesson" meetings and 1 really solid referral from this family who "never" gives referrals. Honestly...LOVE CAN CHANGE THE WORLD!!! It is changing the world in Vaasa. There is a different feeling in the ward as we have just tried to help them love each other and serve each other and also to love themselves. To realize how proud Heavenly Father is of them and how much he loves them! I just love being in Vaasa! I have almost been here for half of my mission...I never want to leave...dangerous thing to say, but it really is the promised land!

     This week, I was thinking a lot about Christ. I was thinking about the Atonement. I was thinking about why Christ did what he did for us. I just finished reading Mark in the Bible and each time I read about Gethsemane and Golgotha and the crucifixion, I just sit there and shake my head and think, "Why?" Why did the most wonderful, glorious being in existence come to this earth and allow himself to be mocked, humiliated, judged, smitten, and eventually killed. Why did He do it? Honestly, I still don't know. I know He loves us and I know He loves His father. That kind of love though...I don't know if I will ever understand it. I know I have said this before, but the song, "I Stand All Amazed" just expressed my feelings about the Atonement. 

I Stand All Amazed at the love Jesus offers me

Confused at the grace that so fully he proffers me

I tremble to know that for me he was crucified,

that for me a sinner, he suffered, he bled, and died

I marvel that he would descend from his throne divine

to rescue a soul so rebellious and proud as mine

that he should extend his great love unto such as I

sufficient to own, to redeem, and to justify

I think of his hands pierced and bleeding to pay the debt,

Such mercy, such love and devotion can I forget?

No, no I will praise and adore at the mercy seat

Until at the glorified throne I kneel at his feet

Oh it is wonderful that he should care for me, enough to die for me.

Oh it is wonderful, wonderful to me. 

    What a beautiful song! I love it so much! Jesus Christ can literally help us become something better than we were before! My favorite song, since being a missionary is "Lead, Kindly Light." I am really bad at explaining how I feel...hahaha....not really....but songs just say it better than I ever could. Sorry for all the lyrics...feel free to skip over these if you're busy...haha anyways, it says:

Lead, kindly light, amid the encircling gloom

Lead thou me on!

The night is dark and I am far from home,

Lead thou me on!

Keep thou my feet, I do not ask to see

The distant scene, one step enough for me.

I was not ever thus, nor prayed that thou

Shouldst lead me on.

I loved to choose and see my path, but now

Lead thou me on!

I loved the garish day, and, spite of fears,

Pride ruled my will, remember not past years.

So long thy pow'r hath blest me, sure it still

will lead me on.

O'er moor and fen, o'er crag and torrent till

The night is gone

And with the morn, those angel faces smile,

When I have loved, long since and lost, awhile!

    The MoTab sang that song in the Saturday Morning Session of the last General Conference and I literally bawl everytime I listen to it...which happens quite often. This song is "Sister Olivia Bitner's Mission". That should be the title. The night is dark...well at least it was. I was far from home. I didn't care to see the next week, I just needed to see the next day, the next minute at the beginning of my mission. Never before in my life had I thought I needed help. Wow. I was so prideful. I had never asked for help, but man, this mission has taught me, literally every day, that "Yea, I know that I am nothing, as to my strength I am weak, therefore I will not boast of myself, but I will boast of my God, for in his strength, I can do all things, yea, behold, many mighty miracles we have wrought in this land, for which we will praise his name forever." Alma 26...just read the whole thing! It's incredible! You all are those "angel faces" and every morning, I look at your picture hanging next to my desk and am so grateful that we are going to be together forever. It is so wonderful! I love you all so much and am so grateful for your support! Knowing you are all praying for me motivates me so much! i just want everyone in Finland, and in the world in general to be able to have what we have. This truth, this gospel is the most wonderful thing in the world. We are so blessed! 

    I just love being a missionary. I love waking up every day and everyone who talks to me knows me as "Sister Bitner". I think I am going to wear my nametag under my clothes for the rest of my life. I never want to take it off. It's the best thing in the world! I hope you all have the most wonderful week! Oh boy, little sidenote: Something Finnish for the week. I actually don't know if this is Finnish but I have never heard of it in Utah...we are getting a "mini missionary" this week....a 18 year old girl from Turku...south of Finland...is coming to live with us and be a missionary for a week! Only 7 companionships get to have a mini missionary and we are SUPER excited. Sister Pace is terrified! We pick her up tonight at 19! Hopefully all goes well! Also, next week is Interim! I will probably get to print off your emails, but probably not write one...we don't have p-day next week! We are in Helsinki from Sunday to Wednesday. But we GET TO GO TO THE TEMPLE!!!! Oh my goodness, I am like dying to go to the temple! I finally get to go!! Oh my goodness I am so excited! But just know how much I love you! I am so grateful for all of you! Have the best week and always remember to be yourselves! Thank you all for being exactly who you are!! You really are the best!!

    Minä rakastan teitä todella kovasti!!! Minä kaipaan teitä, mutta mä tiedän ette olen tekemassa Jumalan tyotä täällä Suomessa ja on suurin siunaus mun elämässäni! 

Jumala rakastaa teitä!! Muistakaa!!!

    Rakaudella, 

    Sisar Bitner

My companion for the day..Sisar Lund she is lovely!

MY PACKAGE!!! YAY!!!

Vaasa missionaries!!